I watched a super sad movie today all by myself. It was called TWO WEEKS and it has Sally Field in it. She is dying of cancer. I missed the first little bit of the movie but watched the majority of it. OHMYGOODNESS...I could just imagine my mother going through everything that these 4 kids got to share. But my mother didn't have anyone to share it with. She only had herself. She was the one there every day and dealing with the fact that her mother was in so much pain, and she was the one dealing with the fact that her mother was dying, and she was the one that was there day in and day out. My mother must be the strongest person in the world. I don't know that I would have been able to handle it.
It is sad that my daughter will never know her great grandmother as I knew MY great grandmother. But my Nanau lives on in my life and in my pictures, so I know that my daughter will know of her. And it looks like she will get to know her grandparents very well. She talks to them often on the phone. She knows who they are in pictures. And she is always excited to spend time with them when we go home. It is kinda sad that we are way out here, but we do what we can to keep her in touch with her family.
I miss my grandmother so much some days. Most days I don't notice it, but some days I notice it a lot. Like today, mostly because of the movie. I remember the day that my cousin called me and told me my grandmother had cancer. Everyone in my office came over to console me and help wipe my tears. My grandmother has always been a very important person in my life. Every since I was little she was the one I would turn to. She was the one who looked out for me and cared about me so much. Were it not for her, I don't think I would be the person that I am today. She was there for me whenever I had a problem, whenever I needed anything, whenever I was down. I may not have always liked her solution, but she DID always have one. :-)
Her birthday just passed, on June12. I remembered her on that day. I said a prayer for her and I spoke to her for a bit. I was pretty sad that day. But the anniversary of her death is coming up soon. It has only been two years. But then again...it has ALREADY been two years. I think that when I go home next month I will go to her grave and visit her. I DO NOT LIKE cemeteries, but I feel the need to be close to her. And I think that is the closest that I will get.