My dear daughter is crazy. 3 year olds are crazy in general. It really is true what they say about children. You try and get them to talk for the first year or so of their life only to spend the next forever trying to get them to STOP talking. If only for five minutes. I wish she knew how to read and could immerse herself into a book. But no, that requires me talking and reading out loud. I don't want to put her in front of a movie. Even if I did, she would constantly be asking me what was going on, or if I saw that, or if that person was sad. She can go play in her room, but every so often she will yell down to me...just to tell me what she is doing. What would be awesome is if she was big enough to go outside and play by herself. But, she can't. Besides, it's raining outside. Right now she is running around and around the long couch. As she comes around she tells me, "Hi, I'm back" and as she goes around the other side she says, "Goodbye, see you in the morning." Even playinh with her imaginary friend requires her to talk to him and also to me. Is there no reprieve???? Only when she is sleeping. Even then, she comes in the room and tells me she needs to go peepee. She can't do it on her own in the middle of the night yet.
Don't get me wrong....we all know that I love to talk. But there are times in my day that Idon't want there to be anymore talking. I just want it to be quiet. I want to sit on the couch and read a book. I was to make dinner and just listen to some music with no one talking. Most times I do not mind the endless chatter that flows from the mouth of the shorter person running around here. Lots of times she and I can carry on conversations about our day, about things that happened last week, about our future plans...you get the jist. Normal conversations that you would not expect to be able to have with a three year old. And sometimes I really want to talk to another grown up. I don't do much of that, either. I speak with grownups at work, of course. But they are mostly in their 30s to 50s. I don't work with any young people. And since my cell is off I can't call and chat with my friends on the way to get my lovely daughter from the babysitters.
I guess I am lacking in the friend department. I am mising my friends. I am missing the times when I could just call someone up and invite them over for dinner. Or give someone a ring and say, "Hey, I'm bored...want to get together?" I don't have that out here. I have only two friends that I really hang out with. I have inherited friends by being with Rob. But those are still his friends that are cool with me. You know? It is sucky being out here all by myself and everyone else is there in Texas.
I don't mean to sound like a pity party...I guess I am really just missing being a grownup. I love having Lorelli. She makes me laugh, and cry, and laugh some more. I am bored. I am stuck in the house sometimes. I want out. I want to just go. I want to call up some friends and tell them to come over. I want to have a party like I used to. I want. I want. I want.