Hi guys! Oh, how I have missed you. I have missed myself. Hormones are a BITCH, you know? Being a female with deep running emotions normally is hard, but then you throw in some PMS, a pinch of personal drama, a dash of being lonely, and about a cup of brand new four year old love....thats a recipe for a breakdown. Trust me. If ever there was a chink in my armor, it is now.
So, my baby turned 4 on Thursday. That is a very monumentous occasion. Especially since last summer, while I was not working, I was convinced that one of us wasn't going to make it to her 3rd birtday. But we did. And this year she actually knows what a birthday is. She was excited for it to be her birthday. She counted down the days. And, being her mother's child, she stretched it out for several days to get the maximum amount of birthday possible. She got totally awesome birthday presents if I do say so myself. Her babysitters got her a pink Radio Flyer scooter that is so cool it makes me jealous. She got a yellow calculator. And she knew oit was a calculator. And told me she needs it to pay her bills. What?! She astounds me with her vocabulary every day, practically. Rob and I got her the Series 2 of Signing Time which we have been wanting to get her for a very long time. Her daddy got her some books to go with her TAG reading pen. And then...we had her party yesterday. At the park. She had a blast. There were only 3 little kids that showed up, but she didn't care. She got to play ag the park. She had watermelon. We had a pinata. And we had cake. What more could a 4 year old ask for? Thankfully she asked for nothing more. :)
I did see my boyfriend at the party. It was kinda nice. We didn't really have a chance to talk too much because the day was about my daughter and not about our junk. But it did end with an invite for breakfast this morning which I should be up and getting ready for. And I am excited and nervous about that. I miss him. Even if this whole situation sucks right now. I am so angry and so hurt by it, but all but I am patiently waiting it out. Praying that things work out the way he wants them to. And just raising up my faith and prayers that if this isn't whats best for Lorelli and me that I will be shown the way that is. I love Rob very much. I love him more than I had let myself believe that I loved him. And while I am willing to give this time so he can work his shit out, I am not willing to put my whole life on hold. I do not really have a time limit for him or anything. Not a set date at which time I will move on. But I do know that I am giving him his space for now so that he can figure out why hes so freaked out.
In the meantime, Lorelli is getting to have some much needed time with BOTH her parents. AD has been amazing throughout all of this. He has opened up his homw to us. He has taken us in. He has even listened to me complain and whine about this whole situation. Most women do not have that kind of relationshiop with their ex. I am lucky to have it with both my exes. Living here with him has been like a weight off my shoulders. Lorelli is getting some much desired daddy time. He is getting some much needed Lorelli time. And I am getting the peace of mind that I know my daighter is taken care of and happy.
Well guys, I need to get ready for my breakfast date. It was great talking to you. I will try not to stay gone so long this time. Heck, I may be back this afternoon. We will see.