Love Love Love

I love my wife, my kiddo, our dog, and most of all...MY LIFE! I couldn't ask for anything more than what I already have. I get to spend time with those that love me, while doing the things that I love!!!

9.24.2009

Kitty Kicking Karma

Wow. Yesterday was the WORST day that I can remember ever having. Seriously.
You would think that I had some serious karmic issues yesterday. Things that
had been building up for so long that the Universe finally said, "Enough is
enough biatch. You are going down!" I will start at the beginning (3:30
a.m.) and go until I finally got home (8:30 p.m.) .

DISCLAIMER : I know there are way worse things that could happen. I could
have been a victim of all the flooding. I do have my health. I do have
family. I do still have a job. Believe me, I thanked HIM for all the things
that I DO have going for me just as I was cursing the universe for
everything going wrong yesterday.

3:30 a.m. : Wake up...OH HELLO AUNT FLO!!! Is that you banging on my door?
Say what? Oh...you think I have had enough sleep? And I should change the
sheets more often? Thanks! Really.

6:45 a.m. : Wake up again. 30 minutes late. Take ANOTHER shower because AF
and I are having just TOO much fun today.

7:15 a.m. : Trip over a tree limb while walking to my car and skin my knee
and twist my ankle and get mud on my pants.

7:17 a.m. : Realize I do not have my cell phone - run back in and get it.

8:00 a.m. : Run into QT to get Midol and something to eat because the Crampy
Demons are killing me. And I am hungry.

8:10 a.m. : Get to work 10 minutes late.

9:30 a.m. : Get email from company owner's daughter asking if I can cover
the phones because apparently everytone and their dog is JUST TOO BUSY to
cover the phones. Sure, why not, I am not busy after all, trying to make
collection calls. But whatev.

10:30 a.m. : Realize that I have court in the afternoon for the stinky
expired registration ticket I got in August and I have to leave at 1:15 for
that.

1:15 p.m. : Leave for court.

1:45 p.m. : Make good time. Get to the recorder's court 15 minutes early.
WOOWOO. Now. Must. Find. Parking.

2:05 p.m. : Still looking for parking. Have driven around parking lot no
less than 12 times. There seem to only be 150 parking spaces for the enitre
county to park in.

2:15 p.m. : Finally give up and park two streets away and haul my behind up
the road to the court.

2:18 p.m. : Must throw away my brand new orange Gatorade (bought for me by
the RH {boyfriend}) because, OH YEAH, thanks to terrorists you can't take
drinks and food into federal buildings. SHEESH!!!

2:20 p.m. : Get to VERY CROWDED courtroom and take a seat and listen for my
name.

2:50 p.m. : Walk out of court with a warning from the judge and a ZERO
dollar fine. Thank you Lord, you know I don't have ANY money right now and I
appreciate you looking out for me today.

3:25 p.m. : Car begins to make obnoxious dinging sound indicating that
something is horrifically wrong.

3:26 p.m. : Notice that temperature gauge is dangerously close to the H
level.

3:27 p.m. : Pulled over on side street when I noticed steam coming from
under my hood.

3:30 p.m. : Open hood of car (for 1st time ever by myself) and lots of steam
comes out. Did not get burned, thank goodness. Now begin to wonder what I am
going to do. In THIS side of town. With no one around. And everyone at work.

3:45 p.m. : Wonderful Kind Stranger stops to ask me if I need help and then
offers to run up the street to get some water for my car and bring back to
me.

3:50 p.m. : Discover that my car needs more water because the water hose has
popped off. Wonderful Kind Stranger attempts to put hose back on for me but
can not get hose on with the clamp on. Takes clamp off. Reattaches water
hose.

4:35 p.m. : Car is put back together. Clamp can not be put back on water
hose to attach to car. WKS informs me that up the road 1 mile is an auto
store. Drive there (very slowly and at a low RPM) and ask them to kindly
help a damsel in distress.

4:37 p.m. : Half a mile up said road, water hose *POPS* off again and car
begins to overheat. Freak out ensues. AGAIN.

4:38 p.m. : Turn into KFC and turn car off and call boyfriend. Boyfriend is
in the middle of chew out by manager. Inform him my water hose has popped
off again and I am stranded. Will call awesome babysitters to come get me
and take me to their house until he can come get me and my car.

5:00 p.m. : Babysitters arrive to take me home. Check my car to see that,
yes indeed, the water hose has popped off. They do not have any squeezing
tools in their car to squeeze darned little clampie to et back on hose to
get back on car.

5:15 p.m. : Attempt to get stuff out of car only to realize that I have
locked keys, purse, and phone in the car. On the front seat. Of the driver
side. In scary town. Hmmmmmmm

5:17 p.m. : Babysitters have roadside assistance plan that they will use to
help me out. YAY!! Oh...never mind. Roadside assistance plan is expired.
And, oh yeah, its $220 to renew. Never mind.

5:20 p.m. : Babysitters add roadside assistance to their cell phone plan
(which I have on my cell phone plan - but cell phone is - oh yeah - in the
locked car). Attempt to use roadside assistance plan only to find out there
is 72 hour waiting period.

5:40 p.m. : Boyfriend calls back. He is off work. He is on his way. YAY!! He
is not happy that I locked my stuff in the car (DUH!! Neither am I!!!).
OOPS!!! Ask him for the number to insurance company that we both have. Call
insurance company to find out I DO have roadside assistance on my plan.
YAY!!! The locksmith can be there in a mere...standby...wait for it...FORTY
FIVE MINUTES!!!

6:00 p.m. : Boyfriend gets there. Kisses my head. Shakes his head at me.
Buys me a water. :-)

6:15 p.m. : Locksmith gets there and unlocks the door in under 1 minute.
WOOWOO!!! Thank you thank you thank you!! A million times thank you.

6:35 p.m. : Boyfriend must buy pliers to squeeze clamp. Kroger has needle
nose pliers only. He tries to use those. Somehwat success.

6:45 p.m. : Boyfriend goes to Rite-Aid and buys full 3 piece plier set. Uses
pliers. Struggles with clampie thing. Struggles with water hose. Struggles
with sweat pouring down his brow. And the middle of his back. And...damn he
is sexy...oh, I mean, wow its really humid out here.

6:55 p.m. : Car is put back together. Water is in the car. Car is started.
Does not seem to be leaking. Boyfriend says if I had wanted to spend time
with him and see him all I had to do was ask. I apologize for breaking my
car in a feeble attempt to spend more time together. We both laugh. Kiss.
Say goodbye. Go to our separate homes.

And we all live happily ever after.

OR NOT!

7:10 p.m. : Car temperature gauge begins to creep up again to the H and we
pull over to the side of the road. Call boyfriend. He lets loose string of
expletives. Apologizes to me becuase it is not my fault. Turns car around to
come rescue me once again. Tells me to see if I can make it to the exit (I
am pulled over on the shoulder of a highway entrance ramp, on a giant curve,
that people like to fly around) where it is safer.

7:20 p.m. : HERO unit stops at my car to see if I need help. No thank you,
kind sir. My boyfriend is coming to rescue me. Yes, he is totally awesome.
Yes, I will be fine. No, I do not need you to stay until he gets here. Yes,
I am sure. You have a nice day, also.

7:22 p.m. : "Mommy, I really have to peepee right now or I am going to
peepee in my panties and you told me not to peepee in my panties or you
would spank my bum and I really have to peepee and I can't wait and that is
why I am dancing in my seat right now because I can't wait." (Can you not
wait? hehehe) Lorelli pees in KFC cup (I know, but its the only thing I had)
and I attempt to dump the urine out the window, but end up dumping it down
the side of my car and splashing it all on my driver side mirror. WOOWOO!!!!

7:30 p.m. : Boyfriend shows up. Checks hose. It is still attached. Slowly
lets steam out of radiator and opens radiator cap. Water is all but gone.
HUH?!?!? Adds more water. Checks other fluid levels. Curses at car. Says he
will follow me home.

8:15 p.m. : Arrive home safe and sound. Boyfriend checks car again. Fluid
levels are good. NO fluid is spewing out. Car is not steaming. Temperature
level did not go above warm. All seems right with the world. We say good
night. I say thank you for being my hero. We kiss. We go our separate ways.

8:27 p.m. : I realize I have to take ANOTHER shower and wash the clothes I
have on. RIGHT NOW. Thank you Aunt Flo. I forgot you were here. NOT.

8:30 : Pour myself a caffeine-free pepsi and a shot of Patron. :-) The night
gets better for the next hour and a half until I go to sleep.

The end

10 comments:

iamthatmommy said...

I promise I am laughing in a loving sort of way, dear. I can only imagine how horrible that sort of day was -- once driving the ex's car, the serpentine belt popped off ... three times in one day -- and he was IRATE with me, you know because I did it on purpose. Yay to your boyfriend for being a nice growns up and agreeably helping you! I hope today is better!

Nan said...

Well YIKES Charisse - that is just... amazing! Wow. There is nothing more I can add except... wow. What a day you had. Let's not have anymore like that, ok??? OK!

Em said...

This.is.NOT.your.week. I'm sorry. On the up side, next week at least one thing will be better. :) You need a hot bath and another shot of tequila. Hope everything is better in the morning.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry...I hate days like that. The only redeeming grace in them is that they seem to be few and far between, right?
xoxox

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

OMG Charisse! It's a wonder you were still standing at the end of such a vile day, and not crumpled into a quivering, bawling heap somewhere ... like I would have been. :)

At least that's not EVERY day, right?

parentingBYdummies said...

Holly crap. Thank God for Patron. That's what I need today b/c low and behold some sort of annoying flying creature just bit me. On the face. And it effing hurts! And, sod does my life today. Thanks for sharing your sucky story with me. That was nice:)

parentingBYdummies said...

Apparently my life hurts so badly it's turning me into an imbecile, because I meant "and so does my life", not "and SOD does my life". Although now that I think about it, sod is a good way to describe this day. This day is soddy!

Zeus and Twinkle Haskins said...

File this under your worst day ever. YIKES, not a happy day. You made it and that is the best thing. So glad a boyfriend was there to come to the rescue. I hate being a damsal in distress especially with this stupid things called cars. Yea, its the weekend. Have a good one

Sophia's Mom said...

WOW! Sounds like you had an exhausting day! Thank goodness it's over. Boyfriend rocked today! Yeah! And Lorelli was just too cute to comply to peeing into a KFC cup :)

I say blame the whole day on Aunt Flo. That's what I would do ;)

Toby E. said...

I was on the phone with you when the car had its first pop off, and you were not freaking out. You handled it fabulously! And every time I talked to you after you were handling it all with great stride. I'm proud of you. You know all too well I've had simular situations (can we say your baby shower!), and I turn into a HUGE puddle of tears. And yeah for the fabulous patience and knowldge of BF!