Love Love Love

I love my wife, my kiddo, our dog, and most of all...MY LIFE! I couldn't ask for anything more than what I already have. I get to spend time with those that love me, while doing the things that I love!!!



Just a real quick update here.

Tomorrow is Halloween. Most of you are WAY more into Halloween than I am. I didn't DO Halloween that often as a child. I was all UBER religious in middle school and when we lived the city when I was younger there was the whole "blonde haired blue eyed children beware" scare going on, of which all three of us children were. But I did participate a little bit this year.

We had what was supposed to be a Halloween thing at work. Lunch was supposed to be provided and we (ladies or the permanent team) were supposed to make desserts. That didn't all happen as planned. But I/we did make our desserts. I made my cake balls. So yummy and sweet and cute. But I did not eat any of them. I am trying to be good with my change in eating. Here are some pictures of my cute little things, though.

AND Lorelli got to dress up. Her babysitters bought her costume for her AGAIN this year. As they have every year. They are the most awesome people in the whole world, I think. I am sooooo blessed to have them in my life. She is "Spider-Man-Girl" and I am jealous because they bought her THE. MOST. AWESOME. SHOES. EVER!!!! Here she is in all her glory. The first one she is "webbing me" (just for you NAN!!!).



I might have lied. But I didn't mean to. And I will try not to do it again.

So, apparently when I said I was back. I didn't mean it. I thought I did. I meant to mean it. But, I lacked follow through. That sucks.

I have been so busy getting ready to move this weekend. We (Me, Lorelli, and her daddy - in case you were wondering) are moving into a BIG 3 bedroom apartment. I am soooo excited about this. And he is bestowing upon me the privilege of the master bedroom. Which I am definitely excited to receive. It has a closet the width of the bedroom (Which is 10 ft wide, in case you were wondering that, too) with three sliding doors. I get to go get my clothes out of storage. This excites me for TWO main reasons. I. MISS. MY. CLOTHES.

ANNNNNNNDDD...I get to get the jeans and pants out that have been in a different closet until now because I was too big for them. YIPPEE!!!! I still have a ways to go, yes I know. But I get to put on smaller pants. That will not REQUIRE a belt to hold them up as my pants do now. Becasuse they are all too big. Because I have lost 23 pounds.

Lorelli is excited about moving and getting "my own space for my own stuff and my own bed for me to sleep in my own room all by myself!" She is very good with the use of MY. I hope she is not getting Mine-itis. heheheh I am ready to get all of her junk out of the living room and back {somewhat} contained in her room. I am ready for her to sleep in her own room as opposed to in her own bed less than 3 feet from my bed. I love hearing her breathe, but I am such a light sleeper that every time she rolls around in her little toddler bed I wake up and check on her. Not that I won't be waking up and checking on my child, I just prefer not to do it every 45 minutes. All night. Every night. :-)

The boyfriend seems to be putting out more effort, lately. It has been nice this last week and a half. I have tried to keep my raging BC pill induced hormones in check. And he has called more and talked more. We haven't had much of a chance to see each other, with the aforementioned getting ready to move going on. But we have talked every day. More than 5 or 10 minutes. Actual conversations beyond, "Hey whats up? How was your day? Mine sucked. Have a good night. Talk to you tomorrow." We have chatted. We have laughed. We have complained. We have listened. Its a big step. On both our parts. I read an awesome post from MckMama the other day that made me think. I realize I am not married. Nor do I know if I ever will be. But romantic relationships of allll kinds at every different stage have problems. Always will. What determines whether or not we make it to that FOREVER stage is how we deal with these problems. Kinda gave me a new light. Not just the article, but also talking with a few awesome friends, both IRL and bloggy.

Tonight I will be finishing up my cake balls for tomorrow's work Halloween party. I am making spiders and pumpkins and perhaps eyeballs. They are obvoiusly Halloween themed. :-) Made the cake and mixed them and balled them last night. Tonight I move on to the dipping and decorating. ARGH! It is a task, that is for sure. I have about 100 balls to dip in melted candies of different colors. Then, my first use of edible ink markers. Can I tell you just HOW excited I am to use these. Bakerella uses them. And I shop at her favorite store all the time. And now I get to use these cool markers to decorate my eyeballs and pumpkins tonight.

Oh yeah, speaking of Halloween, Lorelli is going to be "Spider-man Girl" for Halloween. I will definitely take and post pictures. I don't do Halloween at all. I am baking for work because I am apparently the resident baker. Her daddy and her babysitters do the Halloween-y, costume-y, trick-or-treat-y things for her and with her. I am not a fan. But, whatever.

Gotta get back to being busy. Breaktime is over. Have a great Thursday!!!



Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I definitely did NOT spend my weekend with both me and Lorelli in a Benadryl induced coma. This did not definitely facilitate an early morning nap from said four year old. And had it elicited such a nap, I would not have laid right down on the couch and slept with her.

I did not give my daughter leftovers for dinner on Sunday night while I had Doritos for dinner. I alwyas make sure that we have a well balanced meal. All of us. She did not haev turkey, rice, and mixed veggies all combined to make one of my famous one pot easy peasy dinners.

I did not have to monitor my own attitude this week because these BC pills have so NOT made me a crazy lady.

I did not leave my pocketbook at work on Friday. And I did NOT just transfer money to Lorelli's dad and tell ask him to take my car and put gas in it so that I did not drive without my license. (After NOT driving home on Friday withOUT my license.)

I also did NOT inform Rob that we were going to meet him at hs parents' house this weekend while he did laundry so we could spend some time together and visit with his parents and Lorelli could play with her "little friend Chris."

And...for a Not My Child edition.....

It was NOT my child who asked me for a little sister. And it was NOT me that told her to go ask her daddy for a little sister. And it was NOT my child who then told me that she "would just go ask HER Rob if he could give her a little sister!!"

And that's all she wrote!



LRD Pictures

I realized I had not posted pictures of where I have come from to where I am now. These are not the best photos ever. Most of them are takien with my phone. But whatever, they do tell a story. You (I) can definitely see a difference from where I was to where I am.

Taken 5/25 while in Texas

Taken 8/7/09 in work bathroom (where most of these next pictures are taken)

Taken 8/25/09 in work bathroom

Taken 9/28 in work bathroom

Taken 10/3/09 at home

Taken 10/21/09 in work bathroom (did a weigh in and I am down 23 POUNDS!!!!!)

Sooo, I still have a long ways to go. I still have a lot of tummy to lose. But the muffin top is going away a little bit. I am smaller in the waist. I am a little toned in the arms. Much work still needs to be done. But I thought I would share myself with you guys!!!!



Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did NOT happily let my 4 year old daughter go away for the weekend, to Tennessee, without either one of her parents. I did NOT do this because she was NOT with her oh so awesome incredible loving and wonderful babysitters who are more like surrogate grandparents than actual babysitters.

I did NOT make three vegetarian dinners this week because I was too lazy to remember to take meat out of the freezer for dinner. Since I did NOT do that, then we did not have a delicious zucchini fritatta (SP?), spinach alfredo, and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner last week. I never shirk my responsibility on dinner duties. (But if I had, those aforementioned veggie dinners would have been absolutely delicious)

I did NOT wait 2 hours after the boyfriend told me I could "come over when I want to" to leave for his house because I was NOT uber-irritated with him. I did NOT leave my SCANDALOUS bag in the car because I was not sure if I was, indeed, going to spend the night. I did NOT give him the semi cold shoulder to make him understand that he was a heartless butt**** last week. (Actually, I can not tell a lie, I totally DID DO those things. For real. But sometimes you have to play hardball.)

I did NOT spend all day Sunday with him just watching football to regain some kind of normalcy between us, just to go home and begin a long text conversation with him, asking him several HARD questions and getting back several HARD answers. I would never waste a whole day thinking up those questions, only to ask them later. I am not wimpy like that. I can handle face to face confontation. (Actually, I can't.)

I am SO NOT beyond excited to have my computer back. This does NOT mean that I will be blogging more often. Nor does it mean that I will be able to watch my TV shows again. (Thank you mankind for HULU and instant watch websites) But, MOST OF ALL, it does NOT mean that I will have my JILLIAN MICHAELS WORKOUTS BACK!!! I am NOT AT ALL looking forward to this. No way. No how. Unh unh!!!

And...right now...I am not TOTALLY thinking of going home to make pretzels and Bakerella's cake pops and uber delicious beer bread. Which would completely negate the previous statement about working out. :-)

What did you NOT do? What are you NOT thinking about?



I'm Baaaaaaaaaackkkkkk

Hey everyone. I will now have a computer back at home. That is majorly exciting news for me. I am giddy. I can go back to reading your blogs on a regular basis AND leaving comments. Now you won't think that I am ignoring all of you. :-) Because I am really not. But, the RH got the computer working so I will be taking it home today. And I have figure out how to use my phone as a modem so I now have internet at home. How much better can life get????

Speaking of the RH....some of you know that I am having major issues on that front. I am beginning to think that I am expecting more of him than he is willing to give or is comfortable giving. I love him very much. And I know that he loves me very much. But, as I learned once before....sometimes you need more than just love to carry the relationship. Without the right verbiage and actions...the love kinda falls through the cracks. I am not saying that we are breaking up just yet, I am just saying that I am spending more time bothered and upset than I am happy and in love. Time will tell...but I just don't know that there will be THAT much more time.



{Not So} Wordless Wednesday

I love sharing my photos with you guys. Here is a random bunch of photos for my Wednesday. :-)

Crazy awesome 80s Jazzercise chick from the Athens night of debauchery last weekend

Lorelli enjoying an afternoon stroll in the park - literally

Getting her little mouth all numb to get cavities filled. Holding the spit sucker. Watching SpongeBob which Mommy doesn't let her watch at home.

Actually getting the cavities filled. She was such a good little patient.

Fat me from last summer ('08) at Stone Mountain. (I look EXACTLY like my sister here *SHUDDER*)

Less fat me. Taken a week or so ago. Still have a ways to go, but I am feeling better seeing the difference in these pictures.




I started this post last Wednesday, approximately 5 days ago. I am finishing it today, Monday. Oops!

That is the word of the week. It started out as the word for Monday. But I loved it so much that I have carried it over through out the entire week. :-) Its my blog, I can do what I want to, do what I want to.

So, I realize it has been approx 64586 days since my last post. Please forgive me. Please? Ok. Thanks.You guys really are great.

Things with my RH are going pretty well. He seems to have listened to my concerns/complaints and seems to have been trying harder to be more communicative and more affectionate. It is a problem that his whole family has. They just don't know how to talk to each other. They do not say I love you. They are just not emotional people. Or if they are, they are not very expressive people. I should know this. But I still have expectations that maybe, just maybe, he could change. I guess that's what's wrong with us crazy women. We always want our men to change. And they don't. And we get upset. But he is trying. And working at it. And I think he is making progress. He recently told me, "I care about you and love you more than I could ever tell you. And I am so sorry that I ever give you cause to doubt that." I think that is a huge improvement over what I usually get from him, "You know you mean a lot to me, right?" So, I will take it. He has also been working on actually EXPRESSING those verbal sentiments in actions. Which makes a girl feel good. Its nice to hear sometimes that you want me and that you think of me, but its even better to FEEL wanted. :-) I am sure that you all know what I am talking about.

In other news, I have officially lost 20 pounds. I have had to buy a belt to hold up the pants I was wearing. All my smaller clothes are in the storage unit. I will not be getting them out of storage until we move into the bigger apartment and I have my own closet and my own room, etc. Besides, my clothes are lying across the washer and dryer and the w/d are like three layers INTO the storage unit and just incredibly difficult to get to right now. I can not wait to be able to pull on AT LEAST the size 18 jeans. I know that sounds huge to most of you, but I am coming from a size 22. I have jeans all the way down to a small size 16. So, I should be set at least for another couple months. Also, as soon as we move and I am OFFICIALLY on the lease, I will have full FREE access to a gym up the street. The apartments we are in do not have a fitness center so they have a deal with the gym up the street. I can not wait. I want to go every day. And I will be taking my "gym bag" with me to work so that I am not tempted to go home and just NOT work out. It is a right turn to the gym instead of a left turn to the apartments. I can do it. I want to do it. I will do it. :-) I can not wait to get below 200 pounds. Seriously. I have not been below 200 pounds since...I don't even remember when. Maybe high school. Or shortly after that. Maybe since the back surgery when I was 20. I do not have a clue. I can not remember a time when I was not at least 200 pounds. But I am looking forward to the day that I see a 1 in front of the number on the scale instead of a 2.

I have to give a little HOORAY to the people on this journey with me. Nan, Em, Julie, & Toby I think that you guys are all incredible and I am so proud of you for pushing on. :-) If you need a cheerleader, I am here for you, just as you guys have been here for me. I appreciate all the love you guys are bestowing my way.

So, the living situation is not near as awkward as I thought it would be. Living with Lorelli's daddy has proven to be interesting. It is almost like living back at home with your own parents. He asks me how my day was. Asks me if I took my lunch. Asks me if I have heard from my RH today and how things are going in that department. I try and keep the house clean. I make dinner at night. I am quiet when we leave the house because I don't want mine and Lorelli's noise to wake him up (especially since he has given up his bedroom and he is sleeping on the pullout couch in the living room). But overall it has been nice not to pay rent. It has been nice to know that Lorelli is getting to spend some time with her daddy. It is nice to have someone say thank you for cooking dinner. It is nice to have someone help with the laundry. And mostly it is nice to be able to say, "Go ask your daddy to do..."

I rarely said, "Go ask Rob to do...." because Lorelli is not his child. Even living with my boyfriend, I still felt like a single mother because I did most everything for Lorelli. I just didn't feel right asking him to share the parenting duty. Over the last couple months of us living together I believe I had just started doing that. I would ask him to get fer a cup of milk in the morning. Or she would ask him to brush her teeth for her. Or I would ask him to keep an eye on her while I went and laid down with a migraine. And I have begun to see that maybe that was the turning point when he started freaking out. That might have been when he started to see that we were somewhat of a makeshift family and that he was slowly becoming a "parent." I can see where that would be scary. And not only a parent, but a parent of someone else's child. Then when everything with the house started to fall through, it got worse. Then you add a big promotion at work to all the aforementioned stress, and I think he just lost it. If you remember, I said he is not a very good communicator of his feelings, nor thoughts and stresses. I have always had to guess at it. I am only just now able to see the cues from several months ago. They say "hindight is 20/20."

I am super excited that AD and Lorelli and I should be moving into the 2 bedroom apartment within the next couple weeks. I am ready to have my stuff back. And my bed back. And all my clothes back. And I am BEYOND ready for my daughter to have her own space and not sleep in my room. That stuff is getting WAY old. She has not slept in my room in over 2 years. And she has been sleeping in my room that last 6 weeks. UGH! The new apartment has an office/sunroom type area that we will be making her room. She can not wait to have her "own space" as she has called it. It is all very exciting.

I guess that's all I have. I have finally updated my blog. Thanks for sticking around and checking back in on me every so often. :-) I am hoping to get my computer back very soon from Rob. He has been working on getting it fixed because the power supply went out on it. And when I get it back I should get back to my regular bloggy self.


I Heart Faces - Excited

This week's them over at I Faces is EXCITED. The picture below is the first time that Lorelli met her Uncle John. She was about to turn 1 year old and she was home in Texas with her Daddy and meeting lots of extended family. I think this picture definitely captures how excited she was to be meeting him.

Head on over to I Faces and check out the other EXCITED photos.