Love Love Love

I love my wife, my kiddo, our dog, and most of all...MY LIFE! I couldn't ask for anything more than what I already have. I get to spend time with those that love me, while doing the things that I love!!!

9.29.2009

I Heart Faces - We've got the Blues

I am partaking, once again, in the fun that is the I Heart Faces photo contest. This week it is all about the blues. I know which picture I want to use. It is priceless. It is beautiful. And it is very US. Head on over to I Heart Faces to check out the other BLUE photos.



Photobucket

9.27.2009

Everything old is new again

Well, thats actually a lie. But it sounded cool. I just like that line. :)

So, did you notice the awesomeness of my new blog layout? My wonderful friend over at www.thewannabewahm.com Did it for me. That is her bluish green button over on the left that says the wannabewahm. That obviously stands for The Wannabe Work at Home Mom. Don't we all wish we could do that? I do. One day. With my baking business. But her work at home business is going to be/is now blog design. Shes great. Please go check her out and tell her I sent you. Tell your friends about her. She is quite great.

Speaking of my one day baking business, its a good thing that I am one tough cookie otherwise tonights batch of orange cupcakes would have caused my dream to fizzle out. They are dense. And they fell. And they didn't taste as orangealicious as they smelled. I would blame the recipe but it is one I have used before. I blame the cook. Crazy girl decided to take things into her own hands and did not add things separately like she was supposed to. Ugh! Its so hard to find good help. And by help, I mean me.

The relationship saga continues, of course. I decided the other night that there are a lot of things about our situation that I H.A.T.E. But after getting that off my chest, I feel like there is some good coming of it. I am getting so much time w my kiddo. Not that I wasnt getting time w her, but I am especially focused on her so that this transition is easier for her. And she is getting unimaginable amounts of time with both AD and I. Her little attitude has gotten a bit better. She seems to be having fun. She sleeps better now than when we first got here and her brain seems to be going through a growth spurt as she is soaking up knowledge like a sponge. Its incredible.

Did I tell you I went out w an incredibly awesome new bloggy friend? Last weekend, I made plans, with no regard for anyone else, whatsoever. And it was FUN! She and I had a blast. There was laughing. Talking. Flirting. And then we got in the car to go to the bar. Ahhhh just kidding. But seriously, I thought it would be awkward driving out to hang out w someone I hadn't "met" but turns out she is just as awesome in person as she is online. (But dont worry Julie, I am so going to come visit you. And You, Kristie. Don't be surprised if I just show up and say "hey, lets grab a drink.")


Okay gang, its my bedtime. Actually, its past my bedtime. I am gonna crash now. Thx for listening. :)

PS - I lost a half pound this week. Its not much, but I am counting it. And I bought two new belts to hold up two pairs of pants that no longer fit!!

9.24.2009

Kitty Kicking Karma

Wow. Yesterday was the WORST day that I can remember ever having. Seriously.
You would think that I had some serious karmic issues yesterday. Things that
had been building up for so long that the Universe finally said, "Enough is
enough biatch. You are going down!" I will start at the beginning (3:30
a.m.) and go until I finally got home (8:30 p.m.) .

DISCLAIMER : I know there are way worse things that could happen. I could
have been a victim of all the flooding. I do have my health. I do have
family. I do still have a job. Believe me, I thanked HIM for all the things
that I DO have going for me just as I was cursing the universe for
everything going wrong yesterday.

3:30 a.m. : Wake up...OH HELLO AUNT FLO!!! Is that you banging on my door?
Say what? Oh...you think I have had enough sleep? And I should change the
sheets more often? Thanks! Really.

6:45 a.m. : Wake up again. 30 minutes late. Take ANOTHER shower because AF
and I are having just TOO much fun today.

7:15 a.m. : Trip over a tree limb while walking to my car and skin my knee
and twist my ankle and get mud on my pants.

7:17 a.m. : Realize I do not have my cell phone - run back in and get it.

8:00 a.m. : Run into QT to get Midol and something to eat because the Crampy
Demons are killing me. And I am hungry.

8:10 a.m. : Get to work 10 minutes late.

9:30 a.m. : Get email from company owner's daughter asking if I can cover
the phones because apparently everytone and their dog is JUST TOO BUSY to
cover the phones. Sure, why not, I am not busy after all, trying to make
collection calls. But whatev.

10:30 a.m. : Realize that I have court in the afternoon for the stinky
expired registration ticket I got in August and I have to leave at 1:15 for
that.

1:15 p.m. : Leave for court.

1:45 p.m. : Make good time. Get to the recorder's court 15 minutes early.
WOOWOO. Now. Must. Find. Parking.

2:05 p.m. : Still looking for parking. Have driven around parking lot no
less than 12 times. There seem to only be 150 parking spaces for the enitre
county to park in.

2:15 p.m. : Finally give up and park two streets away and haul my behind up
the road to the court.

2:18 p.m. : Must throw away my brand new orange Gatorade (bought for me by
the RH {boyfriend}) because, OH YEAH, thanks to terrorists you can't take
drinks and food into federal buildings. SHEESH!!!

2:20 p.m. : Get to VERY CROWDED courtroom and take a seat and listen for my
name.

2:50 p.m. : Walk out of court with a warning from the judge and a ZERO
dollar fine. Thank you Lord, you know I don't have ANY money right now and I
appreciate you looking out for me today.

3:25 p.m. : Car begins to make obnoxious dinging sound indicating that
something is horrifically wrong.

3:26 p.m. : Notice that temperature gauge is dangerously close to the H
level.

3:27 p.m. : Pulled over on side street when I noticed steam coming from
under my hood.

3:30 p.m. : Open hood of car (for 1st time ever by myself) and lots of steam
comes out. Did not get burned, thank goodness. Now begin to wonder what I am
going to do. In THIS side of town. With no one around. And everyone at work.

3:45 p.m. : Wonderful Kind Stranger stops to ask me if I need help and then
offers to run up the street to get some water for my car and bring back to
me.

3:50 p.m. : Discover that my car needs more water because the water hose has
popped off. Wonderful Kind Stranger attempts to put hose back on for me but
can not get hose on with the clamp on. Takes clamp off. Reattaches water
hose.

4:35 p.m. : Car is put back together. Clamp can not be put back on water
hose to attach to car. WKS informs me that up the road 1 mile is an auto
store. Drive there (very slowly and at a low RPM) and ask them to kindly
help a damsel in distress.

4:37 p.m. : Half a mile up said road, water hose *POPS* off again and car
begins to overheat. Freak out ensues. AGAIN.

4:38 p.m. : Turn into KFC and turn car off and call boyfriend. Boyfriend is
in the middle of chew out by manager. Inform him my water hose has popped
off again and I am stranded. Will call awesome babysitters to come get me
and take me to their house until he can come get me and my car.

5:00 p.m. : Babysitters arrive to take me home. Check my car to see that,
yes indeed, the water hose has popped off. They do not have any squeezing
tools in their car to squeeze darned little clampie to et back on hose to
get back on car.

5:15 p.m. : Attempt to get stuff out of car only to realize that I have
locked keys, purse, and phone in the car. On the front seat. Of the driver
side. In scary town. Hmmmmmmm

5:17 p.m. : Babysitters have roadside assistance plan that they will use to
help me out. YAY!! Oh...never mind. Roadside assistance plan is expired.
And, oh yeah, its $220 to renew. Never mind.

5:20 p.m. : Babysitters add roadside assistance to their cell phone plan
(which I have on my cell phone plan - but cell phone is - oh yeah - in the
locked car). Attempt to use roadside assistance plan only to find out there
is 72 hour waiting period.

5:40 p.m. : Boyfriend calls back. He is off work. He is on his way. YAY!! He
is not happy that I locked my stuff in the car (DUH!! Neither am I!!!).
OOPS!!! Ask him for the number to insurance company that we both have. Call
insurance company to find out I DO have roadside assistance on my plan.
YAY!!! The locksmith can be there in a mere...standby...wait for it...FORTY
FIVE MINUTES!!!

6:00 p.m. : Boyfriend gets there. Kisses my head. Shakes his head at me.
Buys me a water. :-)

6:15 p.m. : Locksmith gets there and unlocks the door in under 1 minute.
WOOWOO!!! Thank you thank you thank you!! A million times thank you.

6:35 p.m. : Boyfriend must buy pliers to squeeze clamp. Kroger has needle
nose pliers only. He tries to use those. Somehwat success.

6:45 p.m. : Boyfriend goes to Rite-Aid and buys full 3 piece plier set. Uses
pliers. Struggles with clampie thing. Struggles with water hose. Struggles
with sweat pouring down his brow. And the middle of his back. And...damn he
is sexy...oh, I mean, wow its really humid out here.

6:55 p.m. : Car is put back together. Water is in the car. Car is started.
Does not seem to be leaking. Boyfriend says if I had wanted to spend time
with him and see him all I had to do was ask. I apologize for breaking my
car in a feeble attempt to spend more time together. We both laugh. Kiss.
Say goodbye. Go to our separate homes.

And we all live happily ever after.

OR NOT!

7:10 p.m. : Car temperature gauge begins to creep up again to the H and we
pull over to the side of the road. Call boyfriend. He lets loose string of
expletives. Apologizes to me becuase it is not my fault. Turns car around to
come rescue me once again. Tells me to see if I can make it to the exit (I
am pulled over on the shoulder of a highway entrance ramp, on a giant curve,
that people like to fly around) where it is safer.

7:20 p.m. : HERO unit stops at my car to see if I need help. No thank you,
kind sir. My boyfriend is coming to rescue me. Yes, he is totally awesome.
Yes, I will be fine. No, I do not need you to stay until he gets here. Yes,
I am sure. You have a nice day, also.

7:22 p.m. : "Mommy, I really have to peepee right now or I am going to
peepee in my panties and you told me not to peepee in my panties or you
would spank my bum and I really have to peepee and I can't wait and that is
why I am dancing in my seat right now because I can't wait." (Can you not
wait? hehehe) Lorelli pees in KFC cup (I know, but its the only thing I had)
and I attempt to dump the urine out the window, but end up dumping it down
the side of my car and splashing it all on my driver side mirror. WOOWOO!!!!

7:30 p.m. : Boyfriend shows up. Checks hose. It is still attached. Slowly
lets steam out of radiator and opens radiator cap. Water is all but gone.
HUH?!?!? Adds more water. Checks other fluid levels. Curses at car. Says he
will follow me home.

8:15 p.m. : Arrive home safe and sound. Boyfriend checks car again. Fluid
levels are good. NO fluid is spewing out. Car is not steaming. Temperature
level did not go above warm. All seems right with the world. We say good
night. I say thank you for being my hero. We kiss. We go our separate ways.

8:27 p.m. : I realize I have to take ANOTHER shower and wash the clothes I
have on. RIGHT NOW. Thank you Aunt Flo. I forgot you were here. NOT.

8:30 : Pour myself a caffeine-free pepsi and a shot of Patron. :-) The night
gets better for the next hour and a half until I go to sleep.

The end

9.21.2009

What is this world coming to??

My brain is going to explode and start dripping little pieces out of my head very very soon, I believe. Last night I got one of the worst migraines I have gotten in a very very long time. And all during a horrible thunderstorm. Not just any thunderstorm, but quite possibly the loudest and biggest thunderstorm that humankind has ever seen heard. I think the only thunder that has ever been louder was maybe the thunder that God made while creating the Earth and the Heavens in the very beginning of time. It was so loud that it woke Rob twice because he thought lightning had hit something and exploded it. So, needless to say, I did not have a good night. And it took three doses of migraine medicine to get my migraine under control. It is definitely not gone, it is sitting there in the back of my head taunting me, but it is not KILLING me at this very moment.

Speaking of the thunderstorm, once I finally decided to try and head on into work, I discovered that every road I wanted to use was closed. Too bad I didn't think to check here first. I would have known that all the back routes that I was going to take were under seize by flood waters. SHEESH!!! But, try as I did to find an alternate route, all the routes I wanted were blocked. So I called out for the whole day and have been "enjoying" a very calm day spending time with the boyfriend.

We had a wonderful evening last night that included dinner, football, conversation, snuggling, gatorade, booty time, and eventually, sleep. Today, we have just been hanging out and being together. We had some yummy Japanese hibachi for lunch and more Gatorade. I just love orange Gatorade. And tonight he and Lorelli and I were supposed to be going to the fair, but since everything is so freaking wet and rainy and muddy and sloshy - we are either going to go to the jumpy house in the mall or we are going to go see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs tonight. I am leaning towards the movie because it looks sooo cute. :-)

OH HEY!!!! GUESS WHAT!!! I LOST ANOTHER POUND!!! FINALLY!!! I am officially down 16 pounds. I know I have not reported any weight loss in a very long time...but thankfully, I have not had and REgained weight, either. But, I am getting back on track. Things are finally calming down and settling back into a routine in my life that I have found the time and the energy and the motivation to get back working out. I have found a couple new blogs to read which I will share with you soon. I am loving them. And they are helping me out a little bit. I am still reading the ones I had already told you all about, and my friend NAN is totally awesome and supportive and I love reading her site about all the she is doing and attempting to do. EM is totally great and honest and forthright about her trip. KEEP IT UP EVERYONE!!! I AM BACK!! WITH A VENGEANCE!! I want to really start focusing on getting rid of this tummy. I would be way happier with this weight loss and healthier me trip if I could do that. The muffin top is just not cute look. And besides, I want to look GOOOD for when I go back to school in January. You know what I mean, JellyBean?!?!

Ok...I am outta here for now. When you come back soon (which I hope you will) I will have new things in store for you. Including a new looking blog. And I will tell you all about it after it is done and posted. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

LATER!

9.19.2009

The Task at Hand

So, my friend Julie wanted to shake me out of my low down funk today. She tasked me to complete this and get my mind off my PMS. :) Here goes. (And yes, it worked. I feel a little better.)

1. What is you favorite line from a movie?

Right now, it is from Spanglish. It doesn't get more romantic than this. "Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense."

2. What group did you belong to in high school?

I was an honors brat, band nerd. But...I dont know if I really fit in there. I dont know that I was ever in ONE group.

3. If you $1,000 to spend on yourself, what would you spend it on?

Jillian Michaels workout DVDs. A good set of hand weights. A little workout bench. And a gym membership. After that? I would have to spend on Lorelli. Its how things work.

4. Favorite childhood cartoon?

Dungeons and Dragons. And Smurfs. And XMen. But NOT roadrunner...he wierded me out.

5. What kind of sleeper are you?

I am definitely a sprawler. And a cuddler (when there is someone to cuddle). And I like to lie like a flamingo. Mostly on my tummy, with one leg straight and one leg bent.

FIRST questions

1. Do you talk to your 1st love?

Yep. I talk to him most days. At least once a week, if not daily.

2. First alcoholic drink?

Fuzzy navel. At above 1st love's 1st apartment party.

3. First job?

Cashier at Frys Electronics. I stayed there (company, not position) for 9 years.

4. First car?

98 Green Plymouth Neon Expresso

5. First person to text you this morning?

Elaina, after I wished her Happy Birthday.


6. First person you thought of this morning?

This morning at 1 a.m. it was the boyfriend. I checked my phone to see if he had called. He hadn't.

7. First grade teacher?

Ms Gideon - in Colorado

8. Where did you go for your first flight?

I flew home from Austin to DFW.

9. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?

The first best friend that I remember is Amelia. We met in 3rd grade. Then one day in 4th grade she got mad at me. And never spoke to me again. I started calling her Amelia Bedelia to make her mad.

10. Where was your first sleepover?

I believe it was at Stephanie's house. That was one BIG house. I was in 7th grade. Her mom was scary.

11. First person you talked to today?

Myself. In the shower. Trying to convince myself that I am giving RH (just for you, nan) enough space. The other first person was Lorelli. When I told her it was finally time for her wake up.

12. Whose wedding were you in first?

I have actually not been in any weddings thus far. Whew!

13. First thing you did this morning?

Picked Lorelli off the floor and put her back in her bed. At 2:30 in the morning.

14. First concert you went to?

Bellamy brothers when I was 6. It was outdoors. And free.

15. First tattoo?

A fairy sitting in clouds holding the moon on my back. Took two sessions to finish. So worth it.

16. First piercing?

Ears, of course.

17. First foreign country?

Unfortunately, sadly, I have never been to a foreign country.

18. First morvie you remember seeing?

I dont know which one came first, but I remember going and seeing Oliver and Company w my Aunt and I remember my mother taking me to see Ghostbusters 2.

19. State you lived in first?

Yucky Texas.

20. First roommate?

Other than my sister? My first love/boyfriend.

21. First detention?

3rd grade. A boy was teasing me because he got more vocabulary words right than I did and i hit him on the head w my ruler.

(Sorry Julie and Kimber but my OCD self can not have a list w/o a 22 or 23)

22. One thing you would like to learn, given the chance?

Chinese

23. Who will be the next person to post this?

I seriously don't know. Maybe my Toby.

9.16.2009

{Not So} Wordless Wednesday

Welcome to this week's photos. They are quite random and lovely.

This is my daughter's 1st ever thank you card - it says "Thank you for my clothes"


This is my totally awesome care package from the totally awesome NAN!!! And it came on the perfect day since yesterday was so sucky. I got makeup, perfume, green apple green tea, candles, and some POMEGRANATE/TANGERINE HAND SOAP!!!


Lorelli's 1st self portrait. She titled it herself. :-)


One of her birthday outfits which I think is so adorable and prompted her daddy to buy her TWO new pairs of pink shoes.

The new Thomas the Train bed set with the new cherry sleigh toddler bed that she got this weekend.

9.14.2009

Not ME! Monday



Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


I have not participated lately, but I am back. Just as MckMama says she will be back this week. Very exciting!!!!

It is NOT me that is waaaaay behind on blog post reading since the move. I have read the majority of your posts, but sometimes my phone will not let me comment. Please do not think I have abandoned you. Or that I am not reading. I SO am. I just do not have internet access outside of my phone.

It was NOT me that got so perturbed with my daughter's temper tantrum Saturday night that I told her to "just shut-up, roll over, and go to sleep." I do not lose my cool like that. I am always calm, collected, and kind.

I did NOT let Lorelli's daddy clean practically my whole car by himself because a dirty car doesn't bother me. Surely I am setting the example for my daughter that we always clean up after ourselves and that we should always present a clean car. And we should never let other people clean up the mess that WE totally made by ourselves.

I am NOT totally writing this NOT ME while I am at work. I should be doing payroll right now. But instead, I am writing this. And I am actually thinking of tomorrow's post. Hmmmmmm

I did NOT get upset when I told my boyfriend I was wearing "the sexy panties" and all I got was a mumbled, "ooh la la" before he drifted off to sleep. I know that he is tired and that this closing schedule is totally kicking his butt. I did NOT think that he could have at least faked like he was interested in my sexy body. HA! I did NOT take off the sexy panties, change into the full pants and shirt pajamas, and proceed to go to sleep on the other side of the bed.

9.08.2009

Conversation, Change in Attitude, and Chix Breasts

So, when we last saw our Princess she was getting ready to go to the ball to meet her Prince Charming. Okay, that's not quite where we left off...but close enough. After waking up at 6:45 in the morning on Sunday, for no reason other than the fact that I had gone to sleep at approx 8:15 the night before, I finally got in the shower and started to get ready for my breakfast date with the boyfriend. When he called at 9am I already had my hair done, bra on, and was just waiting for him to call to finish getting ready, even though it was getting awful late. Unfortunately, he was calling to ask if we could possibly reschedule for a dinner/lunch date later that night because was running late. I said, "of course."

Lorelli and AD and I spent the rest of the day cleaning the apartment. It now looks like one cohesive apartment, as opposed to HIS apartment and MY shyte everywhere. We (I) cleaned out the dresser of all of Lorelli's old clothes (all the way down to 24 month items) so that her daddy could start using his dresser again. I did this with my own motives in mind, actually. Not just to be kind. But if his dresser is cleared out he can get some of his stuff out of the closet so that I can get more of my stuff IN the closet. :-) I organized the bathroom under the sink since there is only one cabinet and no drawers. We consolidated Lorelli's toys and books into one place, as opposed to all over the place. And we vacuumed and mopped and scrubbed and sprayed. I feel so much better being there now. He has basically given up his room and bed, also to Lorelli and me. I think I would sleep better on the pull out couch, though, considering if I slept out there I would not have 4 year old feet on me all night. But, I think that the three of us are making the transition pretty well to living together in a 1 bedroom apartment for the time being. The lease will be up at the end of next month and we will be moving into a 2 bedroom with an office and will all have our own separate spaces. I can not wait. Right now I feel kinda bad because he is in the living room. But, we are both making sacrifices to make this easier on her. And regarding her...she is loving it. Having both of us in the same house, you can already tell a difference in her attitude. She is still trying to push the boundaries a little bit because Daddy had totally different rules, or lack thereof I should say, than Mommy does. But, he has been good about backing me up and enforcing my rules.

So, my dinner date...I was so nervous. I must have changed clothes like 4 times. AD was laughing at me unabashedly. Every time I changed he would say something like, "What was wrong? Why'd you change?" I felt so silly for being nervous to go meet my boyfriend of three years who has seen me in a multitude of different states of dress and undress. But whatever. It is not my place to question my own sanity. I picked him up at work and we went to a little Chinese buffet. We had sub par food but pretty good conversation. He asked me what I was doing on Labor Day, to which I replied nothing since I was off. Then...THEN...he asked me if I wanted to come over that night after he got off work and stay the night and spend Monday with him. I told him I would think about it. I couldn't just JUMP at the chance to finally get to spend time with my boyfriend who actually was initiating the contact. I, of course, told him yes I would meet him up at work when he got off and then follow him to his new place of residence. It was soooo hard not to do a little dance on the way to the car. A happy dance, of course. But I resisted the urge. Until I got home. And got out of the car. To which I totally did the Punky Brewster dance in the middle of the parking lot. But who cares. I don't know those people anyway!!

Sunday night was nice. Finally falling asleep in his arms again. Since this is a fairly G rated blog I will say that we got home around 945 and were in bed by 10 and were asleep by 11. Some necessities were totally attended to before falling asleep, though. I am just saying. Monday was a day of driving all around Atlanta which kinda sucked. But we just kinda enjoyed a beautiful day out and about. We had breakfast/lunch (but not brunch) in Atlantic Station. We went shopping at Ikea. We watched Brangelina in Mr & Mrs Smith. We lounged about on the bed. We showered together (that is fairly G rated, right?). basically, we just enjoyed each others company. What we did not do was discuss the situation at hand. We did not talk about the hard stuff. We did not try and understand what was going on with the other one. I finally left around 9pm on Monday night since I had to go to work on Tuesday. I was hoping to "attend to business" before I left, but it just didn't happen. Oh well. Such is life.

After I got home Monday night and spent some time with my daughter and unloaded my SCANDALOUS overnight bag, I called him to let him know I was home. Thus ensued the DEEP conversation that had been hanging over us for two weeks. It was good. And calm. With no tearful outbursts. No yelling. And, I believe, no hurt feelings. Talk about an accomplishment. I realized, and asked him to confirm, that he was/is scared to have about having a family, acting as a father to Lorelli, and having any kind of future family. He is afraid of failure. He feels he failed us by not getting the house. He is scared to be the main provider and financial supporter of our little family. And he needs some time to sort out his own thoughts and emotions and get rid of this fear before he is ready to live with us again. He wants us very much. But he is scared to fail us or let us down. I asked him if he was scared to be Lorelli's father figure or just a father in general because I know that Lorelli is a handful sometimes (BELIEVE ME, I KNOW) and that being a parent is scary. But I needed to know if he was scared of raising someone else's daughter as his own or if he was just scared in general. Remember, this is the man who six months ago decided that he DID want to have a child and get married, someday. To me. ME?!?! YIKES! But, he declared that it was the idea of being a father AT ALL that scared him. Not just to my daughter, but to any child. His or not. We talked about his Friday nights. You know I had to talk about that. I told him I don't care that he goes out. I don't care that he goes out every Friday. Its when he goes out every Friday and stays out until all hours of the night without acknowledging me at all the whole night. And its that we ALLLL know that this Friday night event will take place. But what night is dedicated to just us? Or to just him and Lorelli and me? There was/is no such night. I had to find a way to let him know that THAT is what hurt. I realize we all need time with our friends. And I am way better about keeping in touch with my friends because I use FB, Twitter, my blog, texting, the phone, email, and every other possible way to communicate with all of you. He...not so much. He hates texting. He has a cell phone but would rather use it to talk on the phone. Occasionally. He has a FB, but until Saturday morning (when he read all my recent status updates) had not been on it in over a month. He doesn't have Twitter. And he doesn't email. He kinda sucks at communication in general. Which is part of our problem. So, we talked about that issue and I think (I hope) he finally understands where I am coming from.

So far, this week has been better. We have talked regularly. I saw him today when he came to get my car and have the new tires put on for me. (YAY!!!) We are supposed to have lunch tomorrow (he is off work). And I am planning my time with my friends and child without worrying about whether or not I will see him. I am basically living my life. Like he asked me to. I am looking forward to registering for school in November and going back to school in January. I am actually looking forward to getting the 2 bdrm with Lorelli's daddy (partially because I can not wait to start baking again). I am looking forward to so much and I am taking mine and Rob's relationship one moment at a time. Thanks for all your well wishes and support. You guys have been totally awesome. :-) Seriously!

PS - I am reading "Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus" and came across a line in it yesterday that really struck a chord with me. It boils down to this, "a woman that is able to talk about her problems and feels heard can suddenly change, feel better, & sustain a positive attitude," which I think explains my negative attitude the last two weeks towards him. He just didn't seem to want to or have the time to listen to me.

9.06.2009

All things big and small

Hi guys! Oh, how I have missed you. I have missed myself. Hormones are a BITCH, you know? Being a female with deep running emotions normally is hard, but then you throw in some PMS, a pinch of personal drama, a dash of being lonely, and about a cup of brand new four year old love....thats a recipe for a breakdown. Trust me. If ever there was a chink in my armor, it is now.

So, my baby turned 4 on Thursday. That is a very monumentous occasion. Especially since last summer, while I was not working, I was convinced that one of us wasn't going to make it to her 3rd birtday. But we did. And this year she actually knows what a birthday is. She was excited for it to be her birthday. She counted down the days. And, being her mother's child, she stretched it out for several days to get the maximum amount of birthday possible. She got totally awesome birthday presents if I do say so myself. Her babysitters got her a pink Radio Flyer scooter that is so cool it makes me jealous. She got a yellow calculator. And she knew oit was a calculator. And told me she needs it to pay her bills. What?! She astounds me with her vocabulary every day, practically. Rob and I got her the Series 2 of Signing Time which we have been wanting to get her for a very long time. Her daddy got her some books to go with her TAG reading pen. And then...we had her party yesterday. At the park. She had a blast. There were only 3 little kids that showed up, but she didn't care. She got to play ag the park. She had watermelon. We had a pinata. And we had cake. What more could a 4 year old ask for? Thankfully she asked for nothing more. :)

I did see my boyfriend at the party. It was kinda nice. We didn't really have a chance to talk too much because the day was about my daughter and not about our junk. But it did end with an invite for breakfast this morning which I should be up and getting ready for. And I am excited and nervous about that. I miss him. Even if this whole situation sucks right now. I am so angry and so hurt by it, but all but I am patiently waiting it out. Praying that things work out the way he wants them to. And just raising up my faith and prayers that if this isn't whats best for Lorelli and me that I will be shown the way that is. I love Rob very much. I love him more than I had let myself believe that I loved him. And while I am willing to give this time so he can work his shit out, I am not willing to put my whole life on hold. I do not really have a time limit for him or anything. Not a set date at which time I will move on. But I do know that I am giving him his space for now so that he can figure out why hes so freaked out.

In the meantime, Lorelli is getting to have some much needed time with BOTH her parents. AD has been amazing throughout all of this. He has opened up his homw to us. He has taken us in. He has even listened to me complain and whine about this whole situation. Most women do not have that kind of relationshiop with their ex. I am lucky to have it with both my exes. Living here with him has been like a weight off my shoulders. Lorelli is getting some much desired daddy time. He is getting some much needed Lorelli time. And I am getting the peace of mind that I know my daighter is taken care of and happy.

Well guys, I need to get ready for my breakfast date. It was great talking to you. I will try not to stay gone so long this time. Heck, I may be back this afternoon. We will see.

9.04.2009

Aww...thanks lady

I know I have not been posting regularly, but I am still dealing with all this separation stuff. The month of August has been a tough one. Hoping that September turns it around. My good friend MAMA4REAL is trying to help me out by bestowing this loverly little award on me. I am so pleased to accept this award on behalf of ME. I would like to thank my wacky life, my crazy kid, my hormones, and YOU - my readers, for giving me the drive to blog. :-)



The Splash Award is given to alluring, amusing, bewitching, impressive, and inspiring blogs

The Rules:

When you receive this award, you must:

  • Put the logo on your blog/post.
  • Nominate & link up to blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you.
  • Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog.
  • Remember to link to the person from whom you received your Splash Award.
DISCLAIMER : I am a lurker on most of these blogs - but they are funny stuff. And the only reason they are not on my blogroll so you can see them and enjoy their hilariousness (my own made up word) is that I already have THIRTY something blogs on my blogroll.

DearDiary - just recently found this blog - totally love her writing - have been mostly lurking
Heather - fellow Signing Time user - adoptive mother - totally awesome chick
Sean - I found this blog three days ago - he is on his own journey to a healthier him - with amazing results
TheBloggess - hilarious shyt - 'nuff said
MaryMac - such an awesome lady - lives in an oooooold house - was mayor of her town - and was on tv wednesday
Kristie - freaking love this chick's blog - she cooks - she runs - she is witty and sarcastic