Love Love Love

I love my wife, my kiddo, our dog, and most of all...MY LIFE! I couldn't ask for anything more than what I already have. I get to spend time with those that love me, while doing the things that I love!!!

3.12.2010

Real Quick

Last night Lorelli and her daddy left for Texas. My baby will be apart from me until NEXT Saturday, the 20th. She is spending this weekend with her dad and his family. He will be dropping her off at my mom's house on Monday morning when he leaves to come back to Atlanta. She is going to be spending all of next week with her grandmother and cousins, who happen to be on Spring Break. I am a bit nervous about this. If you know me, you know I have trouble getting along with my mother. We have very different parenting styles. She yells way more than I do. She does not really believe in time out. But...Lorelli won't get an opportunity again like this for a while, so I am having to swallow my fears and jsut let my daughter go and enjoy her time. I am sure that she will have a blast. I am excited for her.

I am also excited for me. I have the whole apartment to myself this weekend. This would normally leave me lots of sleeping time and movie time and book time, but this weekend it is going to afford me the ability to study my ass off for my anatomy final next week. I spent last night alone in the house and I have to admit it was a bit surreal. I have not slept completely alone in a house in over 3.5 years. I may have gone to sleep alone previously, but I knew that someone would {hopefully} eventually be coming home. It makes me inexplicably happy to know that soon (though not soon enough) I will not have to worry about that ever again.

As for the exam, I really need to do well to be able to pull a somewhat decent grade out of the hat. I DO not want to take that class again. I have already registered for the next semester of the class and there are no open slots next term for A&P I. So, I am crossing my fingers, buckling down, and am going to spend the next 72 hours almost fully immersed in Anatomy and Physiology.

Last night I really let A&P get to me. I sent a message to a couple friends of mine and told them how CRUSHED I was that I was making poor grades. This is not something I am familiar with at all. I was never the girl in school to make bad grades. School was not difficult for me. This...THIS has been difficult. I don't know that the topic is all that difficult as it is just draining on me to try and give 100% to work, school, Jennifer, Lorelli, and me all at once. That's 500%. I don't have 500% to give. I could do and 2 or 3 of those in combination I think. But all 5 of those PLUS the added stress of living with AD and not getting what I expected has nearly caused me to buckle under the weight. No ONE person is expecting too much from me, but I expect a lot from me. Thankfully, I have awesome friends who had nothing but encouraging words and thoughts for me. But the coolest part??? My totally awesome bloggy friend, Julie, actually CALLED me. ON THE PHONE!! For the FIRST time ever. It was so cool. I got big old tears in my eyes and a knot in my throat as I listened to her tell me not to get down on myself because she thinks I am doing a great job. She believes in me and believes in what I am trying to do. It was definitely what I needed at the time. THANK YOU, JULIE!!!!

And that's all she wrote folks.
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6 comments:

Mama4Real said...

AWE!!!! I didn't know THAT part of your side of the convo:) Big huge smiles in my heart for you today lady. You are amazing, and nothing can stand in your way!!!!

Charisse said...

Yeah....well....I am a big emotional sap, what can I say?

Just Like Birdie said...

I love this post. I know some of this is tough, but what exciting time you have ahead of you. Good luck on your exams...and enjoy the silence. One of these days, you'll wish for it again.

Big hugs to you!

Velvet Over Steel said...

What an open and honest post! It used to tear me up when my older boys would go to another state with to see their dad and his family. I wanted them to spend time together.... but it was so hard being alone and worrying about them.
You are stronger than me back then.
Good Luck on your exam! You sound amazing and following now!
Hugs,
Coreen
www.velvetoversteel.com

LBDDiaries said...

Good job - two posts - I am mucho impressed-o! And yes, while this is a time and busy time for you, when you get on the other side you will be rejoicing that you stuck with it. YOU CAN DO THIS 'cause you are "Incredible Woman" - I am going to call you IW from now on. OK, IW? OK!

Charisse said...

IW - I love it. :-)